Orangutan baby is born at Brookfield Zoo in Brookfield, Illinois

Shawn Thompson

Being an orangutan would be a lot of fun:

I could live in the tropics where my furry ass wouldn’t freeze

And have sex all morning long, thank you, not just a hug and a squeeze.

I would shun Facebook and Twitter all together like a weird rotten disease

And sleep when I want and not butcher the trees.

I’d choose my own kids carefully, just as I please,

And not feel stifled and cramped without space and a breeze.

I wouldn’t grovel for money, like those corporate thieves,

No sinking in consumerism up to my elbows and knees.

I wouldn’t look for trouble; I’d be diplomatic and appease,

With none of the hooting of those damn chimpanzees.

I’d take ginger and mangoes to the people overseas

And reconcile all of China to the sweet Taiwanese.

I think an existence like that would be full of nobility and prestige,

Plus it has fruit and companionship and a life in the leaves.

Being an orangutan would be a lot of fun

Except for extinctshun.

AN EXPLANATION: I started Orangutan Appreciation Day this year in 2010 to get people to get their friends to pledge to work the word "orangutan" into conversation with a stranger on Feb. 12, which is also Darwin's birthday.

The idea is to fill the world with the awareness of orangutans, starting by using their name. I decided to try the idea on Facebook and have between 300 and 400 people making the pledge this year. That's a good start. Maybe next year I can expand it.

On Facebook, I am giving a free copy of my new orangutan book to the person with the most pledges.

Why Feb. 12? Well, Darwin and his theory of evolution liberated apes and humans and helped demonstrate our kinship. Plus February is such a dreary time in Europe and North America it needed a holiday.

I think the next step is to approach municipalities to designate Feb. 12 as Orangutan Appreciation Day. Even getting the item on the agenda of a municipal council is raising awareness, whether or not the municipality accepts the event.